Responsible

“Justine, you are responsible for your steps. Take responsibility for yourself.”

I had that replaying in my head while racing.

Not as blame — as control.

The terrain is rocky and wet. My brain isn’t perfect. I’m running with a traumatic brain injury and MS. None of that is my fault.

But I chose to be here. I get to do this. I can affirm my choices and take ownership over my situation.

So instead of making excuses for a fall, I focused on the next movement so I did not stumble.

“Pay attention. Place the feet well. That’s how you get to bomb the downhills. Take responsibility.”

Responsibility is power.

~~~~~

Rocky. Wet. Gritty. Flying past waterfalls with wet air flying all around you.

I ran strong and hard.

And when it felt like I was running out of steam, I told myself: “Ten years of this MS BS. And that accident. And I’m still not broken. So, I know this running hard thing isn’t going to break me either.”

And my cadence picked up. I finished.

All the skin on my hands and knees is intact.

No trips. No falls. No scrapes. No bruises.

That’s a win — it only took me 10 years to learn how to run with MS.

This is the steady new mantra I’ve been carrying lately on the trails:

Justine, you are responsible for the outcome here. Pay attention. Take responsibility for yourself.

And it encourages attunement to what my body is doing on the trails.